Archive for category Life Happenings
Touch Up
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings on January 8, 2012
After the New Year’s countdown is over, most people begin proclaiming their resolutions. How will you resolve to be a better person in this New Year? Some people recommit to their treadmill; or their friends; or their family. Driving into work one day, I heard on the radio that if you are one of those people that tend to proclaim your New Year’s resolution to everyone that you are more than likely also going to keep that resolution. Hmm, I thought about this for a while. Okay, maybe more than a while, as it is clearly DAYS after the New Year, and I was still pondering this darn thing I heard.
Honestly, it was not until my friend, Chris TerraNami from Junkyard Ink, contacted me and told me that he was able to fit me in a bit early into his schedule that I actually realized how I felt about this New Year. This New Year was all about a “touch up” for me. Huh? You may ask.
As I walked back into Junkyard Ink, I immediately felt at home. I saw Chris smiling in recognition as I walked through the door, and some of his other artists stopped to say hello, or give me a nod. I was here for my second time, and it felt as if I had known these people forever. And that’s when it hit me…the New Year is not about setting some new resolution in my life, but rather it is about recognizing the resolutions I already have and adding color to them, just like touching up the tattoo I already have. So yes, it did take a physical coloration on my arm (a touch up of my tattoo) to get me to realize this, but sometimes enlightenment happens in the funniest ways. What is important is when you can recognize these moments of clarity when they happen to occur.
This year I will be touching up and recognizing all the starts in my life. For example, I started my Masters of Science in Education, but had not yet completely finished. I had started completing my last 300 hours of yoga teacher training, but had not yet completely come full circle. This year for me will be spent recognizing all the starts in my life, and working on their finishes. Throughout this process, I will be sharing these starts and stops with you and my fellow yogis along the way. What do I wish for all of you?
I wish that all of you find your small moments of enlightenment, and hold onto their expectations.
How will you “touch up” your life?
Catch you in the flow!
And thanks again Chris for adding a bit of color to my life 
What I Carry Forward (Post #3 in a Series)
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings, Philosophy on December 31, 2011
You may be wondering: why am I telling you this story, and these most intimate details of my life? Or you may be thinking: how does this relate to yoga in any way?
It must be told that my father did finally pass away on 1-1-11, but not before he left us with the most revealing lessons of his entire life with us. One reason I would like to share these lessons with you is that I believe these lessons are so profound, yet so simple. Another reason is to help chronicle those last moments in my father’s life so that my siblings can continue to celebrate my father’s life even upon his death, and that my children can remember and recall such lessons as they grow.
Did you ever hear the prayer: Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep; and angels watch me through the night; and guide me to the morning light…?
One of the most profound things my father said during this week of his passing between the end of the old year and the upcoming New Year was that “our entire life was but one day in God’s infinite universe.” This powerfully parallels the so commonly heard night-time prayer heard above. What are we truly praying for every night? Do we actually die in our sleep? No, we know that we return to our conscious mind every morning when we awake…at least in our world. It seems from my father’s perspective though maybe our prayers are not so much for ourselves but for the divine, in hopes that in God’s world the divine returns us to our conscious mind in the morning ensuring that we go on living and fulfilling our promise to find the divine within our own being? And so we search subconsciously, as we sleep, for that morning sunshine to physically awake us, but what about our mental awakening.
Yogis often suggest that their course in life is to find enlightenment, or their mental awakening. Did my father somehow find this enlightenment this last week of his life? As he bridged this world and the next, my father spoke ever so clearly, revealing his mental awakening. It was not until months later that I began linking the pieces of his spoken words to what Yogis report as enlightenment. It just made sense. As Yogis, we learn that we are not separate from the divine, but rather the divine resides in us. Part of our seva is to find the divine in ourselves, and upon finding this source of the divine residing inside of our being that we learn that each person is connected to each other through this source. My father did not need to teach me that the divine resides within me, but what my father did give me during that last week of his life were pieces, no glimpses, into the divine afterlife. Because my father chose to share his last moments with his family gathered around we all were showered with those rare glimpses into another world that we often dream of as a child.
I am truly grateful for this last gift that my father had given to me, and I carry it every day feeling ultimately blessed. These divine glimpses are what carried me through this past year, 2011, and why I look forward to this upcoming, 2012. Therefore, with gratitude and honor, I will light one single candle to my father this evening; it is because of him that I treasure life even more today than I did last year. I will carry his gift forever, and I will pass this gift onto my children: the gift of living yoga.
~ Blessings to all of you in this New Year! Jai 2012 ~
The Plan (Post #2 in a Series)
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings, Meditation on December 30, 2011
December 30th one year ago…This morning I awoke in my own bed, in my own house. I felt surrounded by warmth. The blankets wrapped themselves around me as if to secure me from the heartbreak I was feeling. The blankets served as my force field to the sadness that I did not want to feel. And just like a normal Colorado morning, the sun pierced through the window lighting my face. This morning though it was if God was screaming at me, saying “you cannot hide from this. Get up already and go to your father’s house.” And so I did.
My sister and brother were awake when I arrived at my father’s house. Ironically, they looked more like death that morning that my dying father did. Apparently, they had been taking shifts through the night like watchmen waiting for death to arrive. At that moment, I wondered if death had arrived last night, would they have greeted death with a kind hand shake escorting him in or would they have began casting a pair of concrete shoes and ask death to simply wait on the porch? I did not have to wait too long for my answer, as my brother said, “we have a plan.” What? Did dad get up in the middle of the night and tell my brother and sister what to do? Why were they so lucky to hear that plan, while I spent the past five days agonizing about a stinking plan? Regardless, I guess I was mildly excited that something was in the works.
The plan: set up camp, take shifts, and in true Bob-style we party until death comes knocking. We ordered pizza, played some of my father’s favorite music, watched some of his favorite TV shows, and laughed and laughed as my father participated with us during some few and far between conscious waking moments. I wondered in awe how long this could go on. Actually, I never wanted this to end. A whole world of truth opened before us. It was as if the four of us were living some alternate reality. Suddenly life outside my father’s living room did not matter. The nurses came and went; the parishioner issuing last rights came and went; and the social worker came and went. Looking back, all of those bystanders, family outsiders, must have thought us so disrespectful. As my father lie in bed, his children dance and celebrate around him. We must have looked like a bunch of loons! Nothing and no one seemed to be able to disrupt our eternal party, except one woman – Mariah, my father’s best friend.
Mariah arrived that evening, just as she had the past few evenings since my father became bed-ridden, to find a very different situation from the last few nights. We were happy; my brother, my sister, and I were laughing and smiling, even my father seemed to be smiling in his unconscious state. Mariah froze. We froze. The first thought through my head was “oh no, she is going to freak out – angry!” But what came out of her mouth was completely unexpected. “I can feel the joy in this room. What a fantastic idea! Your father would be proud,” Mariah said as she threw her jacket off and asked to sit with my father before she sat down to dinner with us. However, it was not until after dinner when things in my father’s house took an unexpected change. Mariah’s presence reminded us of one thing – balance.
As Mariah began to sage my father’s room and light candles, my brother, my sister, and I became suddenly aware of the need to create this meditative space. At the time and for us this was impossible, but for Mariah this was her role. She was exactly what my father needed at the end of his fun-filled joyous day – a meditative presence. And so Mariah showed us how to comfort the dying. She showed us how to be present and open our hearts in a more reflective and quiet manner. Wow! and how powerful this was. Suddenly words did not need to be said; instead we felt and felt completely with our hearts open to the feelings never felt and the things never said. And so today ended, and tomorrow (December 31st) began in a very similar manner to this: we partied and we meditated.
It was not until January 1st that my life, my siblings life, and all those lives my father had ever encountered would be changed forever…
Death and Dying of this Year (Post #1 in a Series)
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings, Meditation on December 29, 2011
This day, December 28th, one year ago was a very different day. It went something similar to this…
“Hi, it’s me. Yes, you need to come, come now. I know there was a blizzard in Philadelphia, but you need to get on a plane and come here now. Try to get a flight. We can figure out the cost later, right now he needs you. I need you. There is not much time.” I then held the phone up to my father’s ear, and quietly listened as he said to my sister, “Come and come quickly. I will not make it through the night. I love you, and all of my kids, very, very much, but tonight my soul is ready to move on…” My sister was then in tears for the first time since my dad’s illness was revealed to us, and I, well, I was beside myself. Was I really ready to handle all my father’s preparations for his passing on from our world to the next by myself?
It was a long night, but the morning of December 29th finally arrived. It was frigid outside, but the sun pierced through the windows. As the sun began to warm my father’s living room, I awoke with a heavy head to find that my father had made it, not so eloquently, through the night. Meanwhile, my sister, and to my delight, my brother were more than halfway to Colorado already. Quite literally my sister and one of my brothers would be arriving into Colorado this evening using all means of transportation necessary: plane, train, and automobile. I cannot even imagine the organized chaos that occurred during their trip from Philadelphia to Boulder. While my sister and brother were finding their way out to Colorado, I was trying to physically, mentally, and emotionally prepare my father for his upcoming trip. This day was exhausting. As nurses and hospice professionals trudged in and out of my father’s small living space, I was needed to decide care options, and other arrangements for my father. The delight of my day was sharing those intimate conversations with my father. Those types of conversations that most people hold in their heart, and never dare to speak, but my father and I knew that all needed to be revealed. Even amongst these moments of sheer translucent joy, I could not wait to see my sister and brother. I wanted, no needed, them to be with me for so many reasons.
Therefore, I felt a wave of relief when my husband escorted my sister and brother through my father’s door. The thin door slammed shut and the sound of its slam, for the first time, was the most comforting sound. It even woke up hope that was fast asleep in the corner since last night. I knew it would take all three of us to help my dad’s spirit ready and prepare for its departure to the next world. I could not do this alone, and I know my father would not have wanted me to take on such a task alone. With my sibling’s arrival, and as if by some unknown awareness, we suddenly assumed our role for preparation of my father’s passing. We assumed these roles, as easily as it was to assume our birth order within the household. It was as if our innate beings knew this time would come; we had lived it before, and were ready, willing, and knew what would exactly unfold over the next few days, or so we thought…
Need to Find Creativity and Freedom?
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings on November 8, 2011
This month in my student and I are discovering our creative selves. The following book really helped me to find my creative best. Are you feeling the need to discover or uncover some creativity in your life? Welll…
You might want to read: A Big New Free Happy Unusual Life by Nina Wise
This is by far one of the most enlightening non-fiction books I have ever read. I am guessing you would find this book shelved under “Self-Help” in most bookstores. Nina Wise brilliantly goes beyond simply inspiring a person to help only themselves; she ignites a fire of transformation within that compels you to create and see the world in a whole new way.
This book is broken down into logical sections. The first few chapters related to the Self and its experiences within its surroundings. Nina Wise engages the reader quickly by “providing access routes that are expressive in nature” from activities of song and dance, to poetry and the visual arts. The background information she provides on each topic compels you to try the practice exercises that follow.
The subsequent chapters follow the same pattern of explanation and provide a way to incorporate the ideas into your own life. With seamless transitions, the next few chapters related to how we see and relate to people around us, from friends to colleagues to family members. Wise sums up the importance of human interaction when she says, “…activities we do in isolation are not sufficient to satisfy our longings-we also have a heartfelt craving for human contact.” She convinces you that practice of human contact will change your life!
Next Nina addresses our most intimate relationships. Yes, she goes there too, in an uncanny and realistic way. She weaves this beautiful web of how rhythms pervade our life, how important they are in our personal relationships, and how to deepen that rhythm of intimacy through play with music, light, and heartfelt acknowledging touch. This is by no means a sexual part of the book, but you feel sensual after reading this segment.
And just when you think she could not possibly have anything more to convey, Nina completes the most beautiful bridge in the book, the path to the divine. She allays any fears we have of the traditional ideas of “God-worship.” Nina describes the divine connection perfectly when she says, “…the inner path (to the Divine) does not always come from a structured environment, but rather you discover the Divine when the inner path leads to equanimity, wonder, and appreciation.”
This book has completely changed the way I think of daily life, and has definitely changed the way I chose to relate with my yoga students. I have much more of an inter-personal connection. I encourage everyone to read and re-read this book. I find something new and compelling each time I go over it!
Captured in a Picture
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings on November 3, 2011
Everyone gets tattoos for all sorts of reasons, but what fascinates me is why do people choose the pictures they choose. What meaning lies behind the picture? Maybe there is no meaning at all? Maybe the meaning is private or too sacred to share? While my tattoo speaks volumes to me, to just about anyone else it looks like a flower, or maybe even a glorified sun. But it’s not just a flower, and it is certainly not a sun. So what is it and what does it represent?
My tattoo serves as a daily reminder of all the lessons that my father taught me, and which until he passed away, I had never realized that his presence and personality exuded these lessons for me more than several times a day. Ah, but I am jumping a head of myself. First, a picture of the tattoo…
So what is this? It is first, a mandala. A mandala, according to Wikipedia, is “is a Sanskrit word that means circle, completely uniform in all dimensions. In the Buddhist and Hindu religious traditions their sacred art often takes a mandala form.” However, the idea of the mandala also spans Christianity, and can be found in such things as a celtic cross, a rosary, or a rose window. I can even remember the stained glass windows from St. Cecilia’s Parish where I grew up having mandala shapes over the altar and again in the choir loft. How does this pertain to my father when my father was not even a church going man. He even used to say that if he stepped foot into a church, either the church would burn to the ground or he would get struck by lightening on a clear day leaving its building. But my father did teach me to love an respect God, and the idea of God, whether it be my idea of God or my friends’ or neighbors’ interpretation. The mandala also represent the idea of impermanence, each day could be our last, so live in the present ~ no regrets, ever. My father lived presently everyday, and when he was called to leave this world he was ready body, mind, and spirit.
Second, my tattoo is a lotus flower. Yet another divine symbol, that also represents a rising out of the muck; the darkness and emerging ever so beautiful. In the Chinese culture Confucian scholar Zhou Dunyi wrote: I love the lotus because while growing from mud, it is unstained. This quality my father embodied well. He was never slow to point out that no matter how bad your life is, or was, you can always rise above. This lotus flower on my wrist serves as that reminder to rise above the darkness, the set backs, and remember that this too shall pass.
The lettering in the lotus, you wonder, well, that is private and only my father (and several close friends) know the true meaning of twin-TWIN.
And finally, who do I have to thank for this beautiful reminder?
Chris TerraNami from Junkyard Ink in Louisville, CO.
~ Catch you sooner than later ~
Grazie Mille (A Thousand Thank Yous!)
Navratri
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings on September 28, 2011
What is Navratri?
‘Nav’ means ‘nine’ and ‘ratri’ means ‘night’. Therefore, ‘Navratri’ means ‘nine nights’ dedicated to the feminine divine, Shakti, and her various forms.
Ma Durga
The first three days of Navratri are dedicated to Goddess Durga (Warrior Goddess) dressed in red and mounted on a lion. This goddess is the spiritual force that destroys all our impurities. Ma Durga supports us in our challenges, allowing us to stand firm in our beliefs, and stay true to ourselves. Her presence ushers in the blessings of the rest of Navratri.
Next three days are dedicated to Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity).
Ma Lakshmi
Ma Lakshmi, dressed in gold and mounted on an owl, delivers us a bounty of spiritual wealth and enriches our lives by revealing how truly blessed and sweet our lives have become. And finally, last three days are dedicated to Goddess Sarawsawti (Goddess Of Knowledge);
Ma Sarawsawti
she is dressed in milky white and mounted on a pure white swan. The final set of three days is spent in worshipping the goddess of wisdom, for what Durga clears, and Lakshmi gives, Sarawsawti endows us with the wisdom to know what to do with what we have been blessed.
And what does it mean for the householder yogi?
There are various ways that the yogi can decide to celebrate the festival from very traditional ways to more introductory methods. I like to tell my students to reflect on what this festival means in their lives. As you think of each goddess does it bring to light some aspects of your life? If so, plan on embracing and honoring that. Maybe start small by fasting, eating smaller meals that are strictly vegetarian. Already an experienced yogi? Then adopt an asana practice that aligns itself with each day and goddess of the festival. Regardless of your yoga experience, the great yogis believe that in order to have all-round success in life, you should seek the blessings of all three aspects of the divine femininity during this auspicious time.
Celebrate Yoga
Posted by fratellic in Life Happenings on September 7, 2011
September is National Yoga Month ~ Jai! I believe this designation is quite fitting too. This time of year is a great, and I feel a much needed time to being a steady and strong yoga practice. While summer wanes and fall creeps around the corner, we find ourselves in a period of transition. Transitions can be quite overwhelming, making us feel harried. We long for the lazy days of summer, and dread the encroaching cold weather.
Oddly enough, this is my favorite time of the year: the transition from summer to fall. It feels like a chance at a new beginning. Instead of feeling surpressed by the blanket of cold that descends upon the Earth, I feel enveloped with a sheath of promise. A promise that fall offers hope that winter allows me to grow, so that spring can allow me to blossom and summer can allow me to bring forth the fruit of my heart.
As summer transitions to fall, so many things in life are transitioning too. Parents find their familial schedules changing; children learn to adapt to the daily school schedule, and parents learn not to overload an already exhausting day for their children. Professionals in the midst of their beloved careers find themselves planning to bulk up their work schedules for the months ahead, quite aware that their used vacation time has dwindled to a meager amount of hours, easily counted on one hand.
Adopting a yoga practice now during this transition from summer to fall, we can find ourselves more grounded and rooted to our body, mind, and spirit. We can trust in ourselves to confidently handle anything put before us. I was recently inspired by this quote in Self magazine, which really spoke to me about this time of transition and how yoga can enlighten and enliven all of our hearts:
“…Now that the lazy days of summer are behind you, it’s time to renew your focus. Think about what you want to accomplish, set a goal, and take a step toward it every day. You are standing on the brink of something spectacular.” By taking up yoga, you can easily feel more focused and adept at moving forward toward your achievements.
With this offering, I welcome all of my new students! I wish you many blessings on your path toward enlightenment ~ Jai!
